AMAZING NEWS!

Well it’s been a while. I’ve been doing a lot to prepare, though not as much as I should be doing. I’ve been listening to more Polish-teaching CDs but I’m better at learning things through experience, so it’s not doing a world of good. I filled my suitcase with clothes that I didn’t feel like putting away and wouldn’t be wearing for a while. I’ve also been planning a Going Away party that I’m having soon. Next weekend, I’m going to Philadelphia to have a going away party there with my dad’s family. Sad .

So yesterday I had lunch with a friend from a different district who is going to Austria. She has been in touch with her family for months and knows everything about them. Her German is very, very good, and I am deeply jealous. Apparently her family already established an arrival date for her, signed her up for a soccer team, and she’s seen pictures of her beautiful house/ school/ ect. UGH lucky her. I still had not heard from my family, had no idea if they were even alive, and I was getting pretty nervous.

Today, however, I received an email from my host sister! I WAS SO EXCITED AND RELIEVED. Apparently, my host mother emailed me two weeks ago, but the email never got sent through. My host sister’s email arrived in my spam folder, so I’m lucky to have caught it. Anyway, I learned where my house is (it’s a very cute house in the suburbs outside of Wroclaw), that I will be an only child, and that they have a dog! One of my host sisters is 26 years old and just moved out, and the other is coming to MY DISTRICT HERE IN THE USA! Very cool! She’ll be in a town 2 hours away from me. I am so excited. I am now friends with my “host sister” on facebook, and we even chatted a bit.

I was very intimidated, however, because my host sister’s English was impeccable. My Polish is, well, nonexistent. I’m very, very nervous about this. I’ve heard it’s one of the hardest languages to learn, and I really want to be fluent. I guess I’ll just have to work really hard. So now I just have to start saying goodbyes…. haha. It’s hard, it’s weird, it’s annoying. It hasn’t sunk in yet. I’m waiting for the rush of leaving to hit me…. but…. some people say it might not hit me until AFTER I come home!

So the Student Exchange book says: “The preparation stage is an emotional high point, frequently filled with dreams and expectations about the host country that may not be very realistic. The fantasies you may have about your life in another country are fun, but don’t take them too seriously because your year abroad will be filled with experiences you cannot yet imagine. It will certainly be different than you imagine, but you don’t yet know how it will be different. Enjoy your fantasies, but keep an attitude that is open and ready for the unexpected.”

Wow, so true. I keep telling people I am on an emotional roller coaster. I also have many fantasies about Wroclaw that I know will not be true. My Polish won’t just come to me as soon as I get there. Things aren’t going to be easy. (Which is a good thing! I like a challenge.) I am very ready to just experience things I don’t understand though, I can’t wait. Don’t worry if you’re like….. not sad or nervous about your trip (if you’re going on Rotary) at this point…. I think that’s normal. I’m sure I’ll be homesick but it just hasn’t struck me yet.

The book also says: “Mixed in with the excitement is always at least some anxiety. You could be nervous about meeting your host family. Will they like you? How will you manage with your very limited language ability? Will you be homesick? You may start to think about how far you will be traveling and how long you will be away from your parents and family. You may worry about your relationship with your boyfriend or your girlfriend. Can it last through the long separation? Your life at home can suddenly seem fragile and precious. Will every thing be here, exactly the same when you get home? All these concerns are very NORMAL, and many former exchange students will tell you how nervous they were when they boarded the airplane….”

So yes, I am very anxious. I am nervous about meeting my family, too. I don’t know if they’ll like me. I’m weird, I’m a geek, I play the piano non-stop. And I don’t eat meat, which is a huge part of Polish food I understand. I don’t really have language skills as of yet, so I am really scared about that. I wonder how long it will be before I can speak….? I will probably be homesick, but I don’t know, maybe not. Again, it hasn’t sunk in yet, I haven’t really felt the *pang* of “wow, I’m leaving for an entire year.” Seeing as I don’t have a relationship, I’m not worried about that. However, I am worried about my friendships. Will they be the same? The summer has been so busy, I’ve hardly seen anyone. Ugh will they still remember me??? I don’t know. It’s stressful and confusing. My mother is in denial right now, she hasn’t accepted the fact that I’m leaving yet either… poor her. Haha. And finally… I know that things may be the same when I get home, but I will probably have different views about them and to me, everything will be SO different! What am I to do!?

Anyway, that’s what’s going on and going through my head right now. Yes, it is a lot of rambling. Welcome to the mind of a soon-to-be expatriate going to Poland. Until next time…